It’s been over 6 months that I welcomed my second child into my life and trust me, I got really surprising reactions from a couple of friends when I told them I was expecting for the second time!
The best one was:
“Was this baby planned? Did you really want it?”
Having more than one child is everyone’s personal decision and no set of parents can be questioned no matter what decision they take. No two set of parents travel in the same boat so it would be unfair to say that couples with only one child should most definitely go for a second one!
Talking to many friends of mine (who are mothers) has most clearly given me this idea that the decision of stopping at just one child results from a host of factors like the age of either parent, finances, health issues of either parent, traditional beliefs, family’s support system and the like.
However, I, personally chose to become a mother for the second time due to a host of reasons which I’m listing down here for mothers who are at the crossroads when it comes to deciding how many children to have:
8 Reasons Why I Chose To Have Two Kids
1.The incomplete feeling
After my son was born four years ago, people told me I was done and I could stop at one child. But, something in me felt incomplete; my family felt incomplete. When I imagined our family picture from the future, I could always see a vacant spot in it that needed to be filled.
2.Want of company
We all have friends that we can open up to, we have relatives too, but siblings are a notch higher than everybody. I felt that after a couple of years my son would feel lonely if he didn’t have a sibling to share his life with.
3.What shall I leave behind?
While thinking about the second child, my inner heart would always jump to 60 or 70 years from now when I or my spouse won’t be alive in the form of parents and won’t be in our child’s life anymore. Who then would be my son’s closest relative? His blood relative? His sibling! He would have that much needed support, love and care whenever he needs it in life.
Having just one child obviously and unknowingly makes your child the apple of your eyes and I believe that spiritually it leads to undue attachment with your child (at least in my case it did!). Having two kids divides your attention and focus into two which is why chances of getting unduly attached and spiritually harmed lessen to a great extent.
This one’s not a very nice thought to mention, but when I think practically, I believe it’s better to have a backup plan ready in case the first plan doesn’t work very well.
6.Double the love
Giving birth to a child and bringing up one makes you a very selfless person and giving birth to two makes you ‘double selfless’ and an even more loving person. You experience the very fact that the best thing about love is that the more you give it, the more it multiplies.
7.All round development
Bringing another child into the family aids all round development of both your kids, especially the first one who might have to otherwise learn the values and realities of life the hard way. All elder ones get opportunities to learn responsibility, sharing, communication, love and so many other values on-the-go at home so easily!
8.Easy to discipline
Why is it that kids eat better from their lunch boxes at school? Simply because they get company and they love doing certain things with other kids. Just like that, having another child to give your first one company makes disciplining the kids much easier.
This post of mine is definitely not intended to be controversial as these are purely my personal thoughts and I do not wish to force them upon you. All I wish to do is give more positive reasons to all moms to go for another child if they are in a dilemma like most mothers are after having one child.
Remember, some wise person has rightly said,
“The more, the merrier!”
Well, you know best where to stop!