I Choose Not To Feel Guilty!

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I Choose Not To Feel Guilty!

As a mother, there are countless days, weeks and months when we our self, take our own self for a guilt ride – not just once or twice, but thrice and many more times. And so, today, here’s my post on choosing not to feel guilty – about the things I do, I don’t do and I could have-should have-would have done. I have made a conscious decision to not feel guilty about almost a dozen of things in my motherhood heart and here’s the list for you (so that even you do the same and feel better, like I did!)

I choose not to feel guilty for:

  1. Having diapered him since Day 0His skin won’t breath, his legs will grow far apart from each other, he will get skin allergies and rashes – I know, I know, I know. But, I choose to not feel guilty for having made him wear a diaper every hour of his two year old life. I could sleep in peace, I didn’t spend 18 months (out of 24) cleaning his poops and pees on the floor and I enjoyed outings without worrying about wet nappies or dirty clothes. Even though an obviously expensive option as compared to using nappies, this decision was totally worth every penny I spent!
  2. Not giving formula milk to my babyAlmost half a dozen relatives had their eyes popped out when I told them that my son’s not on formula and hopefully will never be. He wasn’t surely the chubbiest kid around and that made them suggest me strongly all the more; but it’s okay! I am not guilty. I am happy I breastfed and whatever his health – good or bad – was totally my own karma!
  3. For continuing his bottle feed, even now that he’s TwoIt’ll be difficult for him to quit the bottle habit, he might get mouth or stomach infections, his teeth will grow out of line or order or simply – it doesn’t look good! May be! May be you’re all right and may be I’m actually late in making him quit his bottle. But! I choose not to feel guilty about it, because he started drinking milk from the bottle quite late in his life and that’s the only way he drinks milk now. And as a mother, his intake of milk is more important to me than the route it takes to get in there!
  4. For not having sent him to a preschool/playschoolHe’ll lag in the smartness quotient, he’ll grow up into a shy kid, he’ll take longer to get potty trained, he’ll eat up all your time at home – like, really? I choose not to feel guilty for not sending him to a playschool because I feel that he’s just two! A child who cannot even reach back home if left 200m away from home, won’t he feel lost in the external world at that playschool there? I have a family of 7 to make him feel like he’s in a playschool 24 x 7. I might as well not put him in a playschool at all and get him admitted to Nursery straight away. I don’t really know what I’ll do, but what I’ll not do is – feel guilty about it.
  5. For taking him along to the moviesHe might have been the noisiest child around in the dark theater, you must have got disturbed by his presence, it must have been really irritating to see me or my husband pass from left to right obstructing your view of your favorite movie, but I choose to not feel guilty about having brought him there. There’s always a first time! Didn’t your parents take you the movies ever and weren’t you ever noisy? Didn’t you take your babies to the movies or won’t you ever take them when you have them? There’s no chance you’ll leave them back, because all kind of fun is incomplete without them!
  6. For my son not responding to your Hi’s and Bye’sHe’s been meeting me daily for over 6 months now, but doesn’t even smile at me when he sees me! I choose to not feel guilty for my ‘so-called shy son’! Why should he respond? Is he obliged to behave in a particular fashion? Why? He’s just a kid! Doesn’t even know how to express himself completely! And, who knows? May be he totally hates the sight of the person called ‘You!’.
  7. For his weight figuresHe’s looking pale. He’s looking weak. Has he lost weight? Why is he looking skinnier than the time we met last?You won’t believe, but I have had sleepless nights in the past – over these remarks! My son is not a heavy weight champion and I choose not to feel guilty about his below normal (or actually normal) weight! He’s just an ordinary living creature and hasn’t come with any terms or conditions of being overweight every single day of his life, despite his parents themselves being underweight!

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